


feel it soft and as pure as snow

by amessofgaywords



Category: Frozen (Disney Movies)
Genre: F/F, anna is the supportive sister (TM), elsa is a soft baby gay, honeymaren calls elsa snowflake because they're cute, just some nature lesbians
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-02
Updated: 2019-12-02
Packaged: 2021-02-26 05:27:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,309
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21648304
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amessofgaywords/pseuds/amessofgaywords
Summary: It wasn’t until Elsa left Arendelle for the Enchanted Forest that she realized there could be more to love than what she’d been taught, more to love than fear and pain and unresolved longing.or elsa falls for someone, panics a little, and maybe gets the girl (while anna cheers her on from the sidelines).
Relationships: Elsa/Honeymaren (Disney)
Comments: 26
Kudos: 618





	feel it soft and as pure as snow

**Author's Note:**

> i swore i wouldn't dive too deep into this ship, yet here we are. they're too cute, what can i say? also, i love elsa, so there's that.
> 
> title from would that i by hozier, which is a very elsamaren song.

It wasn’t until Elsa left Arendelle for the Enchanted Forest that she realized there could be more to love than what she’d been taught, more to love than fear and pain and unresolved longing.

The night they came upon the Northuldra was the first night Elsa started to feel that pull, deep inside her, calling her somewhere else. It had always been there, an insistent tug on the back of her mind in Arendelle, and an annoying tickling on the journey to the Enchanted Forest, but she had tried to brush it off, to ignore it, to be happy and settled in the life she had built for herself, that she loved and treasured so dearly.

But learning about the Northuldra, her mother’s people, and hearing Honeymaren speak of the fifth spirit had opened something in her, a gap that needed to be filled. Even traveling to Ahtohallan and seeing her mother again, even figuring out where she was meant to be and finally, _finally_ making a choice for herself and herself alone, even though it felt nice, wonderful really, it still left something feeling unfinished.

There was so much she could do now, so much she hadn’t yet tried. Possibility upon possibility was laid out in front of her, and it was all a bit daunting. In those first few weeks, she longed to return to Arendelle, to the comfortable weight and pressure of the crown and the title of Queen. But no, she could no longer force herself into a box she did not fit in. She was the Fifth Spirit, she belonged in the forest, and in the forest she would stay.

It took some adjusting to, Anna’s coronation and all that, but Elsa finally felt like she was getting the hang of this whole nature spirit thing. When she wasn’t out in the forest, riding the Nokk or exploring with Gale and Bruni, she was with the Northuldra, learning about their culture, their customs, their language and their people. So much of their history, of _them,_ had been erased from Arendelle records, and if Elsa could have one lasting impact beyond her three-year reign it would be to return those stories, the legacy the Northuldra had, to Arendelle, to honor them the way they deserved to be honored.

She spent a lot of time with Honeymaren, who had taken it upon herself to teach Elsa the ins and outs of the Enchanted Forest; where to go, where not to go, where the best berries were and where the clearest cliff was to watch the stars. Elsa, in turn, showed Honeymaren things only she knew; the beauty of riding the Nokk into the sunrise with the warmth on your face, her magic, crystal and cold, and, on days the tribe wasn’t very busy, little things from Arendelle Elsa might bring to surprise her. She grew very fond of the pinkish blush on Honeymaren’s face whenever she was happy, or the way her eyes widened and her lips quirked up when she was surprised. She grew very fond of Honeymaren, really, until it became that hardly a day could go by without the two seeing each other, and that an empty, heavy feeling sat in Elsa’s gut when they couldn’t.

It took her, well, probably far too long to realize what it was, but it wasn’t exactly obvious. She had never felt a connection this strongly with anyone before; the love she had for Anna was sisterly, deeper in many ways but not quite as raw, not quite as heavy and hot and foreign. She loved Kristoff and Olaf and Sven, but that was a gentle kind of love, a peaceful, soft feeling in her heart, knowing they would always be there. This… thing she felt for Honeymaren was different.

It was sweet, for one, saccharine and lovely, like spun sugar. It coated her mouth when they were together and the taste of it lingered when they were apart. It was warm, a warmth Elsa didn’t often feel – no, it was hot, a fervid, fiery feeling that spread from her heart, her cheeks, her chest outwards so that it covered her whole body whenever Honeymaren touched her. It was all-consuming, and it gave her a bit of a head rush sometimes. Even so, it was deep and thick and it seemed to have taken root inside of her, so that she could hardly go a second without feeling some part of it shake and twist, if only to remind her it was there.

Today, it was lingering, the bare edges of it making themselves known at the borders of her mind. Elsa hadn’t been into camp yet, choosing to stay out by the river. She was loitering, reveling in having absolutely nothing to do, and while Old Elsa would have chastised her for being lazy, New Elsa loved the feeling of the sunlight on her cheeks and the morning’s frost at her back. She was toying with the idea of summoning the Nokk and taking a ride out to Ahtohallan for the day when a crunching sound alerted her to another presence in the little clearing.

“Basking in the sun, Your Majesty?” A teasing voice called, and Elsa opened one eye to see Honeymaren peering down at her, sun haloing her head and making her look quite like the paintings of angels Elsa had seen in a book once. The hot, sweet feeling returned in full force, almost knocking out her breath in its intensity.

“I told you not to call me that,” she mumbled, both eyes now open, stretching her legs and breathing in deep. Honeymaren smelled like grass and forest and fresh air, an incredibly pleasing combination. Elsa felt more than heard Honeymaren’s breathy laugh against her face as the younger woman laid down beside her.

“If you didn’t want me calling you Your Majesty, you should never have told me you were a queen.”

“Former queen,” Elsa countered. Honeymaren acquiesced with a hum, and the two fell silent, merely indulging in the morning. Elsa, for her part, was trying to calm her strangely racing heart.

Honeymaren leaned up on one elbow and looked over at her companion. “Any special plans for today?”

Elsa shrugged. “Not particularly. Why? Does Yelana need me for something?”

“No, I... “ Honeymaren chuckled awkwardly, raking a hand through her neatly braided hair. It sent a wave of affection crashing over Elsa unexpectedly, and she swallowed it down. “I was just… hm. Wondered if you might like to ride out to those cliffs on the western side of the forest. Maybe work on your climbing skills.”

“My climbing skills are perfectly fine, I’ll have you know,” Elsa scoffed.

“Yeah, but your non-magical climbing skills? Ice is not the answer to every problem, Snowflake.” This comment was accompanied by a boop to Elsa’s nose, which left a red flush across her normally pale cheeks. Whether it was because of the easy contact or the affectionate nickname, she wasn’t sure, but her heart felt a little warmer either way.

There were many things Elsa wanted to say, but she settled on a brusque “let’s go, then,” and left it at that.

Later, when dark had fallen and the Northuldra were readying the camp for the night, Elsa received a note from Anna, by way of Gale, reminding her of this week’s upcoming meeting.

_Hey sis,_

_I know you’re probably busy being all spirit-y and everything (or maybe you’re not busy at all, I’m not actually sure what spirits do) but tomorrow is Wednesday and you know what that means. Kristoff and I will be there by midday, although you probably won’t see much of him, I think Ryder has some crazy wedding traditions he wants to talk about? Anyway, super excited to see you, and please have some stories ready to share! Council meetings are boring without you distracting me and I need gossip._

_Love you more than anything, xoxo your adoring sister, Anna._

Elsa couldn’t help but smile at Anna’s bouncy, vibrant tone, which came through even in her notes. She missed her like crazy, but these past few months had been more fulfilling than she ever could have hoped for, and for every pang in her heart that missed Arendelle, there were a thousand more beats that reminded her she made the right choice, moving out here.

Even though she was excited to see her again, Elsa was nervous, too. This feeling she had that connected her to Honeymaren like a woven thread was still foreign to her, still unknown. She was afraid of it, and what it meant. And she was afraid that if she let anything show, Anna would pick up on the clues and find out. That seemed like the worst possible scenario. Yes, her sister loved her, but would she love her when she found out how… different Elsa truly was?

Elsa woke up early the next morning, doing her best to straighten her little home at the edge of the Northuldra camp. Out of respect for their community, she stayed to the margins of their world, and she enjoyed the relative solitude of this little corner of the woods. She was close enough that she could hear the raucous of the fire at night, but far enough that her periodic “panic attack flurries,” as Anna dubbed them, wouldn’t bother the peaceful people.

She had built a little ice cave around a low-hanging tree by the river (once she was assured it wouldn’t hurt the tree or the surrounding plants), and it was nice. Small, certainly smaller than the castle she grew up in, but cosy, and comfortable, full of books and notes from Anna and blankets and things Honeymaren had given her (even though she tried to tell her she didn’t need them, the Northuldra woman insisted, and it made Elsa’s heart warm just a little bit more).

Earlier than she had expected, the patter of reindeer hooves outside her door alerted her to Anna’s presence. Even if that hadn’t, the excited redhead that launched herself into Elsa’s arms in seconds probably would.

“Elsa! Oh, goodness, I missed you so much! More than anything!” Anna buried her face in Elsa’s neck, and the older sister wrapped her arms around her gently.

“We saw each other last week, Anna,” she reminded her.

“Yeah, and last week was a week ago!” Anna pulled away, and Elsa chuckled at the sincere look in her eyes. “I swear, I know you only left a couple months back now, but it feels like you’ve been gone forever.”

“I know,” Elsa sighed, catching Kristoff’s eye over her sister’s shoulder. He waved enthusiastically and pointed back to the camp, mouthing the words “Ryder, reindeer, wedding,” to her. The concept, though vague, frightened Elsa just a bit, but she nodded and smiled all the same. He dashed off, and Elsa led Anna to sit on her bed.

“So… what’s new in Arendelle? Is everything all right? Any major conflicts? Anything blow up?” Elsa rambled on nervously, doing her best to distract her sister from herself, but Anna was having none of it.

“You first! How has everything been out here?” Anna’s warm hands clasped Elsa’s cold ones, and she leaned in close.

“Oh, the usual. Fine.” Elsa pushed a stray hair back from her forehead, but she could feel the heat in her cheeks giving her away.

“That’s not the look of someone who’s fine. Did someone hurt you?” Anna gasped in outrage. “Can I go beat them up?”

“Anna, sit down.” Elsa tugged at her sister’s arm. “No, no one’s hurt me. I just feel… different.”

Anna sat, looking confused. “Like a good different, or a bad different?”

Elsa wrapped her arms around herself, trying to tuck everything back inside. But this was her sister, who she loved, and sooner or later it was going to come spilling out. “Remember the stories we used to make up when we were little, about princes and princesses and dragons and faeries?” Anna nodded. “And you always loved the part where the prince and the princess fell in love and kissed and got married, and I always… well, I never really cared about that part. Right?”

Anna nodded again, and Elsa stood, facing away from her sister. “My whole life I thought I couldn’t fall in love. First, because of my powers, then, because of my position, and now… I just didn’t think I was built like that.”

“Well, that’s okay!” Anna chimed in, voice soft and hopeful. “Not everyone gets that whole… stomach butterflies, sweaty palms, kissy-kissy kind of thing! You don’t have to fall in love, Elsa. Not if you don’t want to.”

“What if I do?” Elsa turned, hands outstretched. Immediately, she curled them into fists, aware of the imminent danger of her powers when she was getting emotional. “What if I fall in love, and it’s not with the right person?”

Understanding dawned on Anna’s face. She opened her arms to her sister, and though Elsa shied away, cold tears brimming at her eyes, Anna swallowed her up in a warm embrace anyway. “I know what you’re saying.” Anna said, squeezing the blonde tightly. “Queens have to get married to fancy, stuffy nobles and have tons of kids and all that. But Elsa, you’re not a queen anymore.” She pulled back to look in her sister’s face. “Fall in love with whoever you want to. I will love you no matter what.”

Elsa’s brow furrowed. “Even if it’s… even if it’s a girl?”

Anna gave Elsa a look. “Even if it’s Honeymaren.” At Elsa’s dumbstruck expression, she rolled her eyes. “Oh, come off it. You’re not exactly subtle, sis, and there’s this weird correlation between seeing her and you blushing like you’re in Oaken’s sauna, so…”

Elsa noticed that she was, in fact, blushing. “Oh, shut up,” she grumbled, wiping away the tears from her burning cheeks.

“Have you told her?” Anna asked, and Elsa ferociously shook her head.

“I’ve been too afraid. I don’t know what she’ll say, or if she’ll even want to talk to me anymore.”

Anna shook her head affectionately at her idiot of a sister. “Have you _seen_ Honeymaren when she talks about you? I think she’ll stick around. She’s crazy for you, Elsa.”

“So, what? Do I just walk up and say, ‘hey, Maren, I think you’re neat’ or something?”

Anna let out a rather undignified snort. “Or something.”

There was a knock at the door, and, as if she were summoned, Honeymaren’s own face peered around the edge. “Oh, hi, Queen Anna. Am I interrupting something?”

“Not at all. In fact, I was just leaving Elsa alone to” – and here Anna coughed fairly unsubtly into her hand – “ _think about her feelings._ Au revior, dear sister. I’ll talk to you later.” Anna raised herself to her full height and strutted out of the hut and into the blinding sunlight of the forest.

“What’s up with her?” Honeymaren asked, moving further inside the hut. Elsa flushed, narrowing her eyes after her annoying sister.

“She’s been spending too much time with Olaf.” Honeymaren nodded in agreement.

“So… I was trying to find you because I wanted to tell you something.” The rational part of Elsa’s mind was calm. The irrational part was screaming uncontrollably. _This is it. She’s going to tell you that she doesn’t want to be friends anymore. She knows, and she’s disgusted._ But Honeymaren only smiled shyly and wrung her hands. “I’ve never really done this before, being trapped in a forest for all of my life and all, but… I think you’re the most fantastic woman I’ve ever met, really, and I was wondering if you might like to take a trip out to the waterfall with me later, to see the sunset. If you’re not busy, of course.”

“Like a date?” Elsa blurted out, since all of her brain cells except one seemed to have shut off.

“Well, yes, that was the intention.” Honeymaren rubbed the back of her neck sheepishly. “Unless, of course, that’s not what you want, and I read everything wrong, in which case I can just… I can go…” She was about to step away when Elsa shot forward and grabbed her wrist.

“No!” At Honeymaren’s alarmed face, she softened her tone and her grip. “I mean, no, thank you. I would… absolutely love to go on a date with you.” She smiled a little lopsidedly, trying to be apologetic for her uncharacteristic outburst.

“Good,” Honeymaren said softly. They stayed like that, staring into each other’s eyes, until Anna’s triumphant whoops outside broke the moment.

“That’s my sister! My sister just got a date!” Anna cheered, face just visible through the crack in the door. Elsa rolled her eyes, pulling it shut.

“Ignore her. She doesn’t get out much,” Elsa joked, and reveled in the way Honeymaren’s eyes shone when she laughed. 

\---

Honeymaren was beautiful, and sweet, and wonderful, and all sorts of other adjectives Elsa’s brain was having trouble conjuring at the moment.

They were sitting together under the waterfall, watching the sun go down. Elsa’s head rested on Honeymaren’s shoulder, Honeymaren’s arm was around her waist. Maren was warm, and smelled nice, and her body was soft where it pressed against Elsa’s, and she couldn’t remember feeling this settled in a long time.

Well, mostly settled.

“Is the cold bothering you?” Elsa asked, aware of her abnormally cool temperatures.

“I’m fine, Snowflake,” Honeymaren laughed softly. After a moment, she said, “You know, you have to stop doing that.”

“Doing what?” Elsa was up in an instant, running through a laundry list in her head of things she could be doing wrong.

“Apologizing for everything, or, I don’t know, second-guessing. I like you the way you are, ice powers and all. I’m not going to run away because you’re different, okay? That’s the best part of you.” Honeymaren’s voice was gentle and her words genuine, and Elsa felt that little twinge in her chest again, that feeling that was growing ever so steadily inside of her.

“I guess I’m used to hiding,” she said. “Running away from things, or people, before I can hurt them.”

“I don’t know, I’d like to think I’m pretty tough,” Honeymaren quipped, flexing an arm. It made Elsa giggle. “You’re not going to hurt me.”

Elsa sat back and looked again to the sunset, but something was still nagging her. “My whole life, I’ve been trying to be what other people want me to be,” she said quietly. “And for the first time, I feel like I’ve been making choices for myself. But still, I’m so scared that the next choice I make will be the one that brings it all crashing down. That if I’m even a little selfish, I’ll lose everything.”

Honeymaren reached for Elsa’s hand. “You’re not going to lose me.”

Elsa breathed, long and deep, and she felt the truth of it in her bones. This soft moment, between just the two of them, built of mutual affection and care and warmth, this was something that was going to last. 

She leaned forward, and Maren met her, anticipating her movements. When their lips touched, warmth and sweetness blossomed in Elsa’s chest, spreading from the places they clung together to cover her whole body. Here, there was no ice, no cold, and no expectations. It was only her and Honeymaren, and nothing else mattered.

They kissed until night fell around them, until the stars and the crashing water hid them from sight and from mind. They kissed until Elsa couldn’t remember what had been holding her back from this anymore.

When they finally pulled apart, Honeymaren laid one final kiss to Elsa’s nose. “Happy, Snowflake?”

Elsa snuggled deeper into her arms and breathed her reply into Honeymaren’s neck. “The happiest.”

**Author's Note:**

> come yell at me @amessofgaywords on twitter.


End file.
